Ghost of You
by love - and company
Summary: There are no happy endings yet, just inbetweens. Edith and Alphonse Elric will get their bodies back, no matter what. fem!Ed from the very beginning, multichap.
1. 001: old ends and new beginnings

**the ghost of you**

**- **a fullmetal alchemist multichapter of idealistic fantasies and realistic tragedies. oh, and ed is a girl from the beginning. yeah, i went there.

**(X)**

- CHAPTER 001 : old ends and new beginnings

_Power corrupts the greatest of man._

Roy Mustang knows he should have never stepped foot in Resembool. The fact that when he fell asleep on the train and had nightmares of a war he hadn't dreamed about in months should've been enough of a premonition. He was there to look at a potential female state alchemist, which would boost the military's reputation with the general public, having a female alchemist in their ranks, and then in turn boost his own reputation with the higher-ups. Though when he realized that Edith Elric was in fact an abnormally-small eleven year old girl with no arms, he should have left. It was just a pile of paperwork and nights of headaches waiting to happen.

But the moment she turns golden eyes to him, oddly wide and bright and _young_, and says she wants to join the military, he knows he's doomed. He is aware that he is an adult, and if she joins he will be responsible for her, but there's no arguing in her tone. He should tell her no, if not for the fact that she is still a child and there are some cruel men out there, then for the fact that joining the military is a dangerous path he wouldn't wish on anyone. Hawkeye would kill him if she were here.

But he gives in, and tries to ignore the tall suit of armor sobbing in the corner.

* * *

When Edith first gets the automail, she is self-conscious, which is to be expected. But she takes it to an extreme which Winry has never seen before. It takes her a week to actually get out of bed, and nearly three to actually step out of the room besides bathroom trips. It takes about two months for her to feel comfortable just wearing a simple cloth tank top without a blanket or jacket covering her arms. But once Ed gets going, it takes a lot to stop her. After she starts working out with the metal arms and training, Winry has to stay up late to make sure Edith doesn't overwork herself and start coughing up blood or strains her shoulders.

The taller girl doesn't understand, not really, but she pretends to, because Ed is like a sister to her. She runs her hands through Ed's shaggy hair, nearly as golden as the girl's eyes, and not an ugly yellow like her own. She comforts her with empty words and hugs the small girl when she cries. She tells her that the automail is actually kind of cool and hey, she can beat up anyone who calls her short. Edith smiles at that, which is progress, really.

Winry asks her grandma why Ed lost her arms in the first place, but old grannie Pinako just gives her a sad look and says she'll find out when she's older. She tries to ask Alphonse once, but he just isn't the same. She wonders if anything will ever be the same.

* * *

Edith had nightmares at first. She dreamed of blood and transmutation and Gods, and Alphonse why are you crying? She dreams of a monster that was once upon a time her mom, She dreams of soft brown hair and childhood, all disfigured and turned morbid by the blood splatters and screams. She dreams of a small toddler version of her crying out for her father's attention, and Alphonse tugging at her shirt. She gets used to them after a while, and learns to stop waking up gasping for air.

She continues to study and practice alchemy, and decides to grow her hair long and start braiding it. She finds it symbolic in it's own way, a coming-of-age type thing. As another coming-of-age act, she gets a flamel tattoo on the side of her left thigh when she turns thirteen, and ignores granny Pinako's dissapproving looks.

She is glad that she has both legs, so she can wear shorts at her leisure, but still covers her arms with a red coat that reached just above her thighs. She would rather hide the proof of her failure from outside eyes.

Speaking of failures, Alphonse seems to be getting happier too, almost. He is still a seven-feet tall suit of armor, but he's talking more and making those crying noises less. She hopes he doesn't resent her, although there is no blaming him if he does. She is waiting for him to yell at her, be furious, but she knows that is not in her kind little brother's nature. He still calls her sister and spars with her for training, and she wonders if he is holding back. In everything.

* * *

"So, what are you guys, like street performers or something?" The vendor says, absently wiping his sleeve on his forehead, sweating because of the sweltering heat. He can't believe these crazy kids, wearing armor and jackets in this kind of weather.

The small girl is gobbling down food in a way he's never seen a girl eat before, and the boy in armor sits there politely speaking to him and apologizing for his sister's table manners. But apparently what he's said has offended the girl, because she gets up to leave along with the taller boy. Although he is clumsy, and knocks down the radio, smashing it into pieces.

"Oh no! I'm so sorry, here I'll fix it!" The young voice of Alphonse Elric says apologetically. The vendor is skeptical, but he sees the girl's wide smirk and is suddenly unsure if these are just normal kids. The armor-clad boy bends down and he draws a circle with strange designs and markings, and holds his hands over the shattered radio. It all looks sort of ridiculous, but then the radio is fixed.

He exclaims that they've been blessed by the Sun-God, but then they start speaking of alchemy.

"We're the Elric siblings!" the girl, Edith, he finds out, says with pride. The crowd gathers around them and everyone suddenly feels a rush of excitement. These two children are basically celebrities in their own right.

"So _you're_ the Fullmetal Alchemist! I can see why!" one man shouts with a delighted chuckle to the tall suit of armor. He looks almost sheepish, if it's possible for armor to show emotion. He points to the girl shyly.

"Um, my older sister is actually the Fullmetal Alchemist," the young girl looks furious, and starts shouting random obscenities into the air.

Crazy kids. He doesn't think he'll forget them so soon.

* * *

an; i know some people are going to hate me for this and oooohhh i just really wanted to try it. i'm probably gonna go with the brotherhood series, instead of the '03 one, cause i'm a sucker for ling. don't worry, _there will be changes_. maybe not sp much at first, but they will come. hopefully.

i named ed, edith, since there are a lot of religious themes in fma and i thought, why not add more. although i'm not all that knowledgable in religion or alchemy, so i'll probably be doing a lot of research during the course of this fic. sorry if you see any glaring mistakes.


	2. 002 : loose grip on gravity falls

**the ghost of you**

- a fullmetal alchemist multichapter of idealistic fantasies and realistic tragedies. oh, and ed is a girl from the beginning.

**(X)**

- CHAPTER 002 : loose grip on gravity falls

_To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's first law of equivalent exchange. In those days we really believed that to be the world's one and only truth._

Sometimes, Alphonse finds his big sister's stubborn attitude and tendency to rush head-first into situations irritating. Not that he would ever tell her that, of course. She'd get really mad and start yelling, and he wouldn't force an angry Edith upon anyone. He also trusts her judgment, as much as he really _shouldn't_, but he doesn't want to start thinking that way.

Al really does love his older sister, but sometimes he wishes she would just shut up. Like now.

* * *

Edith likes to antagonize people. She can sense Rose's growing confusion and anger as she lists off the ingredients to make a human. She tells Rose the facts, the truth, just like she wishes someone had told her. She repeats a story of a hero who flew on wings made of wax, who came crashing down to Earth in a realization that he was not God.

Once she meets this so called 'Father Cornello', she is unexplainabley angry. How _dare_ this old guy even think he was worthy of calling himself a God? When he commands Rose to shoot her, she isn't scared. She's still mad at the old man she's about to beat to a pulp. Rose only looks terrified at the empty suit of armor that dodges the bullets from the petite blonde.

When she claps her hands and a silver dagger comes out of the ground, the old alchemist looks surprised that she didn't need a transmutation circle. When the chimera rips through her jacket and reveals one of her metal arms, the first thing she thinks is why didn't the dumb animal go for her legs, which were exposed by her leather shorts.

She takes off the remains of her red jacket, and shows Rose what happens when humans try to play God. She wonders if the girl learns her lesson.

* * *

Edith hates trying to explain what it was like seeing the Truth to Alphonse. She doesn't know how to describe the blank ethereal form, with a slightly insane grin and penchant for mocking. She can't find words to explain just how scared she was.

She just tells him that she hopes he won't have to go through it. But she eases him by grinning, though it didn't quite reach too-golden eyes, and saying that it was totally worth it to not have to use transmutation circles ever again.

* * *

Edith has always been clever. She remembers Pinako telling stories of her various mischievous acts as a child. She wishes she could remember the actual acts.

So when Cornello, the old lech, thinks he has her cornered in a room and gives her an appraising look because her shirt is all torn, showing both metal arms and half of her bra, she scowls. The trick would work better if he thought he was ahead.

Once she drags the truth out of him and starts laughing like a maniac, he looks nervous. After he finds out what she's done, he's furious. But not nearly as furious as Ed is once she sees that the Philosopher's Stone is a god damn _fake._ She feels the urge to kill the old man. It's unfair, really, but at the moment she's much too angry to care. She doesn't kill him though, not really, she just chokes him a little with her small metal hands, but she lets him go after she's aware that he might actually die.

Rose, the stupid girl, makes her even more upset. She accuses her of lying, something which Edith Elric does not do, and she violently yells at the girl to shut up.

"People don't come back from the dead, Rose. Not ever. Not. Ever."

It's time for them to go, Edith thinks. They need to keep moving forward, and she hopes that someday she'll forget about this little town with it's dumb religion and stupid young girls like Rose that did things for the one they loved.

* * *

The riot is growing louder by the minute and the old man Cornello fears that the villagers might hurt him more than that short alchemist brat.

But when he hears that voice that both horrifies him and entices him all at once, he knows that there is no hope. The creature, Lust, he thinks, was the worst type of monster out there. She was one of the forbidden, a creature of myth. The stout one next to her ask if he can eat the old man, and he decides right there that he has to put up a fight.

He feels the monster's (because there's no way that thing is either a human nor a girl) claws rip through him, and suddenly, it's all over.

The beautiful monster watches as Gluttony eats the recent kill, and plans their next course of action with a straight face. She was _not_ cleaning up this mess.

* * *

Edith adored everyone at the East HQ, really. Everyone from the stern first lieutenant Hawkeye to shy and quiet Fuery. Even Havoc, who always had the faint hint of cigarette smoke and portly Breda, along with stoic Falman, were great. Everyone except for Colonel Mustang. Her dislike of him was more like a little sister's irritation at an older brother, and not honest hate, but she still didn't like him. She hated the way he made her feel inferior, his usual drawl he used when talking to her and making her feel dumb. Just looking at him made her want to scowl.

She knew that he really did try his best to help her and Alphonse on their impossible little quest, and she appreciated it, she did, but that didn't mean she had to like the guy, or even be civil. So it made her really suspicious when he said that he would introduce her to an alchemist that could help Al and her.

It really shouldn't have surprised the young Elric brother that his sister and the Colonel had ended up in one of their arguments again.

* * *

In the time that passes at Shou Tucker's house, Ed never quite feels at ease around the older alchemist. She loved Nina, and the girls would braid each other's hair on occasion, and Ed and Al would play with the dog, but once they were in the company of Tucker, the older Elric would always get this uneasy feeling in her stomach.

When his talking chimera calls her "big sister Ed," something in her snaps. How could someone do this to their own child? Then when he compares her to himself, she hates him, she honest to God wants him to die and if it weren't for Alphonse he would be dead, choked to death by the metal limbs of some young girl.

Her eyes are bright and wet when the Colonel and his crew get there, and when he scolds her it turns into her having her first public breakdown in the rain, crying because she couldn't save one little girl.

* * *

"Please grant these poor lost souls everlasting peace and salvation."

With a final splash of blood underneath his feet, the scarred Ishvalan steps into the rain, and imagines it cleansing him of his past sin.

* * *

Once Scar sees that the Fullmetal Alchemist is a young girl, little more than a child, (he imagines a girl from his village, who was always hopeful and smiling; she was just a child too, but she still died.) he almost hesitates. He wonders how the world can be so cruel, doing this to someone so young.

But she is still a creator, and God has made him a destroyer, so he _must_ kill her, no matter how young she is. Yet when she turns wide eyes to him and pleads with him not to kill her brother, he feels it necessary to respect her final request. He lifts his hand in preparation for the sacrifice.

* * *

The gunshot rang loud and clear in Ed's hazy mind, and she thinks that she's never been so glad to hear Colonel Roy Mustang's voice in her life. Her right arm is destroyed, and she actually could have died.

She's not safe yet, though. She'd still have to deal with Winry, who was just as likely to kill her once she saw the state Edith had put her 'precious automail' in.

* * *

an; i just wanted to get the lior part over with. i'll try coming out with longer chapters and update quicker, too, aha. oh, my ed might seem a little more crazy at the edges, maybe a little more unhinged. and since she's a girl, i figure she's more vicious too, to spice things up a bit. especially as she gets into those older teenage stages (;


End file.
